Assorted Crap

1. You know those Duracell commercials where they say something like, "If you think it doesn't matter what battery you're using, think about Bon Jovi, who only uses Duracell in his wireless mics. If it's that important to Jon, then shouldn't you use Duracell in your flashlight?" Anyway, I heard a radio commercial yesterday along the lines of, "If you think it doesn't matter what battery you're using, think about the North Pole, where Santa only uses Duracell in all those toys so that they work on Christmas morning." WTF? I understand keeping up the Santa Conceit. Quite honestly, as a parent, I support it. [Which makes the Brady Bunch's almost overt rejection of Santa Claus in the episode when Carol loses her voice before the big church performance all the more disappointing. I mean, most 80s sitcoms I saw as a kid had episodes that made it seem like Santa was real, but not the pure, idealistic Bradys. That's about the only chip in the monolith of my childhood development that was The Brady Bunch. Sigh.] Anyway, what irks me is how does a corporation score the Santa endorsement? Coca Cola has shown Santa swigging a Coke for years, and now Duracell is claiming that He only puts Duracell into electronic toys (which, presumably, his elves make under a license agreement from Tiger and various other Japanese companies). But what happens when a kid hears the ad, opens his robot dog on Christmas morning, and it's got Energizer batteries in it? What's to stop Rayovac from making a TV ad showing Santa putting their batteries in Rudolph's snout before taking off? Are there any boundaries to using Santa as a shill for your products? Can direct competitors both do it, or is there some kind of First-Come, First-Exploit rule in place?

Just something I was thinking about.

2. I don't listen to a lot of artists, but I can get kind of obsessive about the artists I do like. I made a CD of one such band's hard-to-get first album and a bunch of B-side songs, which I found on a now defunct file-sharing service. But yesterday I did some research and found out that the band has TWENTY NINE!!! more B-sides available out there in the world, most likely in UK used record stores. How am I supposed to complete my collection? It's not at all fair! Why not just put these songs on the albums, or better yet, release a double album of unreleased tracks like Pearl Jam's "Lost Dogs" CD? Do a fan a solid, guys!

3. I'm a New England Patriots fan, and man did they suck ass on Sunday! I know that the Dolphins have a good defense, but come on! Make some passes, Tom! You can't just blame losing your favorite receivers in the off-season any more. And not having Maroney isn't an excuse, either. It's so frustrating seeing the offense sputter most of the time when you see flashes of how well it can work. Lock it up, Patriots!

4. Recovering from a vasectomy is more unsightly, painful, and slow-going than you'd think. Ouch!